Immediate disclaimer, I have never salsa’d in my life!
I am reminded again why I do this – pour my heart and soul out on a screen page available for all the world to see and cast judgement on. I am having a dance with myself and letting you the reader watch.
We all have those 2 sides to us. The one that wants to tell the world everything in absolute technicolour and then the one that would prefer to burrow into the deepest hole and live life in shades of sepia. They get to war often with each other over what is disclosed and what is not.
The dance begins. It is slow at first, with each side hesitantly taking the first steps. Who will lead this particular dance? Will Sepia win, with her quiet ways and fear of reprisal or will it be Rainbow and her complete lack of regard for what others think? Slowly the steps increase and somewhere in there the swirl of Rainbow gets mixed with the cape of Sepia. As one brightens, the other dulls.
My Rainbow wants to tell you it all. Every little secret, sordid and clean. She wants to share her world to stop some of the stigma and also because it gives her a platform. It gives her a voice. Her colours are magnificent and so bright. She fails to see how others cringe at the display, and yet even when she catches glimpses of that, she glows brighter.
Sepia just wants to live quietly. Her range of colours highlight just enough to keep people interested and guessing. The rest can be hidden in darker shadows. Colour is not all it’s cracked up to be in her world. The nuances she provides is enough to keep the most avid interested.
So they dance, each secure in what she can and does provide. Each confident that she will be the one to win and lead the dance. Yet as the dance continues, I find that they end up blending and some things are disclosed and core things remain hidden. The world gets to see colour and vibrancy that is tempered with sepia and restraint.
Some days, and it’s a little today, that dance is tiring. There is so much I wish to just let go of in my head and I know, without any doubt, that it is too much. Even for this world I live in and those I invite in.
Sepia leads today.
And step to the left, step to the right, and yes, salsa!
Neuroses Undefined 