State of play – Jan 2023

R said I should write this post so that I (we) can look back in a year, and see what has / has not changed. I’ll break this into smaller pieces so I can clearly check.

My job is challenging – and I always need a challenge. I have grown tremendously in my field and in management in 7 years, and have been afforded opportunities that would not have come otherwise.
I have been exposed to leaders and thought-processes that have kept me reaching for the stars.
My current position has me doing 10 – 12+ hour days every week day. I am on call 24/7 and don’t even try to talk to me about time zone differences and indifference from anyone who has never travelled / lived on another continent!!
Ambition is not rewarded here, if anything it is frowned upon and pushed back. That glass ceiling is a genuine thing, and no-one gets through.

Well I am still breathing 😀 which is always a positive!!
Long Covid is a thing – fatigue is killing me. I am overweight, and no desire for change.
Anxiety is my constant companion – I can’t even go to the store without having a meltdown. My diabetes is not in control and I find that I crave all the sweet stuff even more when I am in a state.
Sleep – what can I say? It is the bare minimum – not in terms of hours, but in terms of quality. Some days I am not sure how I am coping.

I was getting this under control and then Nov & Dec arrived and all my good work went to hell. All my savings has gone to the kids and I am wondering how I will keep the lights on month on month. My compulsive behaviour to compensate and have a temporary lift excarbates my inability to save more. I would love to own a house but debt and compulsive behaviour stops this.

I am unhappy and in a rut, partially of my own making. I am not completing anything in my hobbies and sitting on the couch is infinitely more appealing than even a conversation. Change is needed, and I have started this process by resigning my position at work for something a little more sustainable. Let’s see where I will be in Jan 2024.


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