I am dating again. I am finding it interesting, exciting and a bit of a minefield. You see, I am not dating someone new, I am dating my primary partner. The person I spend some time with every single day.
(For those who have missed it, I am in multiple relationships (well I try!) and I have a primary partner and we do not live together)
We had a major bump in the road the weekend past. Things were said and done that were horrid – and all mainly from my end. Not my proudest moment. The end result is that we are both trying. Our relationship is very important to us, and we do not wish to lose this connection, so we are working at things.
Little steps as he keeps telling me. Try not to go all out, all at once. So we are dating – albeit our version thereof. Instead of walking in the door and flopping down, we are cuddling and chatting lightly. We may still end up watching the box or going off and doing our own thing, but we have spent the time connecting.
With my full time work, time becomes precious and I am often tired at the end of the day. He is too, having completed a lot of small tasks and errands. So easy to fall into the routine. We have been so guilty of neglect and even though we love each other crazily, we have often ignored each other because of tired or bored or the planets haven’t aligned yet.
It has been good to reconnect in this manner. To rediscover what we feel when we touch and talk. It makes the hours of non-communication that much better. Even though my sleep is still a little disturbed, I am doing better emotionally knowing that we are reconnecting.
It takes a lot of work to make a relationship work and progress. After 7 years we are still learning. For us, right now, dating in this format works. We connect and move forward knowing the other is right there.
How do you make your long-term relationship work without falling into routine or neglect?