Blah blah and blah

Exactly how I feel right now.  Everything is just blah, blah and blah … entering in and exiting with no retention.  Motivation levels are almost zero and I wonder how I am going to kick-start this whole necessity to lose weight (I really am scared of needles and do not wish to have to prick myself every single day!)

I am arranging my crafting weekends away which is a really good thing.  Convincing myself that I am worth the money is a bit of an issue.  But I am going to pay and lock myself in, this is the best option, otherwise I will miss opportunities.  I spend a fair amount of money on this hobby, I need to really look at utilising opportunities more.

On the dating front I have hit some real issues.  Something I thought would work is not going to and this was proved rather painfully!  I was stupid and went back, and I have only myself to blame.  People have proven far too often that actions and words are not consistent.   The second one – well, I should have seen the red flags and stopped it.  I didn’t and there is shame for us both in that.  At least that was over within one date.  The other took too long.

I have not had a schedule that anyone could remotely describe as busy and yet I feel frayed around the edges.  I feel worn thin, almost as though there is very little of me left.  I do not know if this is because I haven’t done some of my favourite crafting – instead doing gifts for all and sundry – or if it’s just lack of motivation for the work that lies ahead.

I am doing my best to enhance my career, take on new challenges and grow.  I am taking more responsibility for my finances and placing things in sequence so that I am better off.  I am learning not to stress if I don’t always get it right, but it helps motivate for the next time.  Yes, being kinder to me.

Still there is this feeling of being worn thin.

Part of that being worn thin … and this will sound super weird …  is the thought that if I try something new, some new challenge then I will fill up.  It’s not like I do not have enough to do!  But I am trying not to take on too much and to find what I need in what I have.  Instead of material things, I collect hobbies … yes, it is time consuming.

Mind dump done for today.


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