Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.
I lost my way a little (a lot) in March. You can go read the day by day breakdown here or the summary here. I forgot how to find the positive and the happy and instead found myself back in that cycle of negativity and depression. But here we are in April and adventure looms along with new relationships and a renewal of a promise made at the end of last year.
I wonder how often we get caught up in the stories that came before us or even are happening around us? It is so easy to get tangled in someone else’s drama, someone else’s theatre that we forget we have our own stage, our own play and our own audience. We have our own story and myth to forge in this world of stories and myths. Ours shouldn’t be forgotten.
I want to be a positive impact, and that may be hard considering some of the bullshit I have gotten up to in my life, but I do have the rest of my life to have that positive impact. My small actions now can still reverberate later. It’s how I choose to live today that will decide tomorrow.
March was emotional, and heavy with thoughts that did not belong. Self-doubt, self-incrimination and lots of self-inflicted pain. Do you see the theme there? It was all me. I was doing it to myself, no one was doing it to me. I was running myself down because I was stuck inside this cycle of deprecation. I was stuck in someone else’s drama and I had allowed it to impinge on my happiness and all it did was darken my world.
I am not saying that we should not show empathy or even sympathy. What I am saying is that I allowed it to control my thoughts. I allowed it to control my story to the point where I no longer had a story of my own. All the work I had done to that point to stay positive and find an inner peace was gone. I was back at square 2 or 3, not quite the beginning.
So here I am, flaws and all, looking forward to April and my positive steps forward. It has started off well and as I sit at my desk and gaze at the autumn sunshine, I know that life is good. It doesn’t have to be perfect, good is wonderful. I have much to be grateful for, and many reasons to smile. This blog is one of them, it is part of my myth.