There is this prompt that does the rounds that tells you to blog using the alphabet as your guide. Each letter becomes a blog. I decided that as a challenge, this would be good to get me blogging every day.
O = open
I have been away and now need to catch up a little – only 2 a day 🙂
I am relatively open about my lifestyle, my journey and general stuff here on this blog. There is also a lot I do not disclose or show. That image of the iceberg and you only see the top sticking out – yeah, that’s me!
It has not been easy to foster this kind of honesty. People are quick to judge and to offer opinion or criticism. Very rarely will someone support you. We are as a rule, very quick to pass judgement because our lives are obviously just so much better than the next persons.
In my relationships over the years, there has always been something held back. I have never fully opened my heart and head to anyone and this is mainly due to always being told I am wrong. In my current relationship, this is different.
I will usually preface some statement with “I know you will think this is wrong or weird or just whatever, but I need to say it” and then it comes out! 90% of the time it elicits a laugh and a genuine confusion over why I have that feeling / thought in the first place, and then a discussion over how he feels or what he thinks and help me through that.
There are days when I want to hide things from him too. Times when I am not sure of the reaction and it feels easier not to say what I am feeling or thinking. It takes guts to admit to those feelings and to allow him access to those parts of my personality and thoughts. He has been kind for the most part – no one is perfect.
Being open here to you? This is easier. I am hiding in plain sight and that in itself is an admission. I enjoy sharing my journey, because I think there are more of those who are in similar situations and just want to be able to know they are not alone. They may never say anything, but they nod and agree quietly to themselves.
I am not sure I could go back to being less open – certainly not to R. That honesty between us helps keep me level.
How honest and open are you?