There is this prompt that does the rounds that tells you to blog using the alphabet as your guide. Each letter becomes a blog. I decided that as a challenge, this would be good to get me blogging every day.
N = need
Physiological or pyschological requirement for the well-being of an organism
This will probably read a little like a pity blog, meh!, it’s okay too. I am not feeling particularly loved, wanted, desired or needed right now. If anything the lessons taught when I was young are being reinforced.
The lesson is simply this: It is okay and in actual fact, a requirement that people need things. It is not okay and in fact it is a requirement of my existence that I do not need or want. I am here for others, not for myself.
I forget this. I forget that I am purely here for others benefits. I am not allowed to dissent, to say no or to venture alternatives that may place me at the forefront. I could do so for a very small period of time, but then it has to end.
This run has been long and now it is time for me to melt back into the shadows. I am but a reflection of others, I am a conduit, an enabler, a vessel for others to use as they see fit. It is back to my corner I go and quietly let go of the woman who briefly saw something different.
Do you ever feel like that?