Somewhere (yes, I am lazy) I have written of the perils of menopause. I can genuinely confirm that yes, it’s true. Menopause is a BITCH – and definitely all capitals!
I have never been someone who sweats. I did that whole elegant thing and just got a sheen on my skin, but actual perspiration just did not happen. Not even with exercise. Jealous yet?!
But now… oh fuck me! It runs down my skin in little rivulets happily leaving behind trails of goosebumps. I have had sweat pooling in places it just does not belong and when I stand up from a chair, there is an inherent prayer that the chair is dry.
My friend heat and I are not such good mates anymore, but the kicker to all this is that I cannot stand cold. I have low blood pressure, not such a good thing, and as such staying physically warm is a test. As I write this sitting in the office, my fingers are blue, I am wearing a jumper and jeans and I am shaking from cold.
So now, heat and I are not friends because it causes Niagara to occur on my skin. But added to that cold and I are not friends as I just do not function. Of course when Niagara does happen, with the associated goosebumps, I go from warm to cold with the slightest breeze, with no cessation of Niagara!
I am literally fucked! And not in a nice way.
We won’t add in the extra linen changes now required, or the clothing that has to be washed more often (yes I wash clothes regularly). I used to be able to wear something at least twice, now if it is slightly warm, once is plenty.
You know, with all the stuff life throws at females – periods, hormones, body aches thanks to our physique, pregnancy, childbirth, change in body shape, et al – menopause just feels like the last “fuck you”. This particular “fuck you” lasts the longest though and it is crap.
So yes, it’s true. Menopause is a BITCH!