Empty nest

I have written about this before (and I am too lazy to go find it) but some days are harder than others.

My kids are mid-twenties now. That old adage of enjoy them while you have them is most certainly true. Before you can blink they are out in the world finding their own way. It is a metaphorical blink, for I remember well the days that seemed interminable with moods, illness and general disquiet.

I remember, sometimes cringing, just how hard I was on my kids. The things I could have maybe done differently. Yet, on the other hand, why would I change things? I agree I made mistakes, no parent is perfect. My two were / are polar opposites. I do know that they care for each other and look out for each other and will get closer once they get through this period.

So mid-twenties. There has been so much change over the last couple of months. My ex moved West, I have moved South and the kids have moved more or less on their own. They are no longer home bound, even if they still use the ex’s place as a touch stone.

I miss them daily. Calls are almost non-existent. If they need or want something then they will call. Otherwise if I do not contact them, they will not contact me. My house is empty without the sounds of whinging and whining and temper tantrums. Oh and it is so empty without the laughter and silly antics that only they can do.

I am not broody. I am quite comfortable with the knowledge that my kids are ok, and I have done the best I knew how at the time. I am not quite ready for grandkids, so I am pleased that the kids are taking their time around this.

I do miss my kids. Currently it is a testing of their independence, ability to survive without the safety net that is the parent, and finding the path that works. I remember doing this with my parents in my 20s, although admittedly I had kids of my own to raise then too.

I maybe blinked too fast. Metaphorically speaking.

So enjoy those arms wrapped around you. Enjoy the laughter and antics. Enjoy the tantrums and tears and whining. Soon they won’t have time for you, and that in itself is hard which multiplies when they leave for their own space.

I would not change anything. Well, maybe I would take more pictures.

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