The bane of any single person’s existence I am sure. I enjoy dating and all that is associated with it, but of late I find it tedious. It seems I am fishing out of the same pool consistently and finding very little.
I am poly – which does not mean I am a cheater or a liar – it means that I have meaningful relationships with more than one partner. Currently I have more than 1 partner and that is pretty awesome. They fill up some of the holes that I have and it is great to be able to share openly and honestly.
Ah, let me make this point. We are open and honest with each other. The uncomfortable type of honest. If anything happens to me, both will be told. If I am with one and the other is needed, that one will not hesitate to contact. I hide absolutely nothing. So much better that way and there is no need to keep track of lies.
Yet, still as much as I love all my partners (and each is vastly different), there is this little hole. I am trying to fill it with activity but I know that it is a person that I need. I know that my partners love me, yet they also know that they cannot fill that need. And we are all okay with it.
The dating scene seems incapable of dealing with this premise. Poly seems to invite people to think that I am a skank, a liar or a cheater. The next phase is to think that I will put out any time and anywhere. Once we get past that and we deal with the blood work issue, all bets are off. It is like meltdown city. There seems to be this hiccup when I get down to brass tacks.
It’s really simple. I have people, and myself, that I need to protect. This means that I will discuss, openly and honestly, the state of my relationships, sex, and all that is required. I will be open and upfront about my family situation, my mental health and what I expect from a partner. I will be open about the time I have available and how I think things should progress. And I expect all of that in return.
So I am still wading through the dating scene in search of that someone special who fills more of the holes and accepts that he/she will never be the only.