It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. – G.K. Chesterton
That statement is so true. Never before have I found something as difficult as being light and positive as I have the last while. I read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and it changed my way of thinking. I am not taking on the whole project idea simply because I am already incorporating many of those things already on a smaller scale. The book by Ms Rubin was devoured in a day and many of her insights resonated, but none moreso than the quote that started this blog.
One of the months of the project Ms Rubin devoted herself to positive talk and feedback with everything. She would not gossip, bite back or let her anger get the better of her. If there was nothing uplifting to say, she would find something to say. It would always be positive. She found this hard.
I find that in my own life, it is easy to complain about money, the weather (I battle always being cold), transport, the kids, simple every day things … there is always something to complain about. People around me are subjected to the litany of complaints and excuses whether those are justified or not. Along with that it is easy to find a reason not to be positive about my day – even if it was a good one. So many reasons to be unhappy … or make myself unhappy and discontented. Added to all of this discontent, how easy is it to talk about others? To discuss them in some manner or form and never hope to have the same conversation to their face. Not ever having a really positive thing to say really.
Since this is the area I really felt needed work and I am not that big a downer or gossip, I just felt I could be better at this, I got to work. Less gossip – which means I speak even less now. When I do it is about positive things about the person, or I just do not engage in the conversation. I speak positive things about my day, I try not compare with others and when I find myself complaining, I stop and think about what I am doing. It is so easy to be negative – a product of our lifestyles I suppose. Always wanting to be like everyone else, never being content with who we are and what we have.
I don’t get it right every day, but I get it right most of every day. My outlook has changed and I feel lighter about things. I feel like I can achieve whatever it is I set my mind to. That I am not competing for anything and this is for me and no one else. That in itself is an achievement. I’m finally doing things for myself. The walk to work was fun today while listening to my seriously 80’s music and just enjoying the summers day. If anything I didn’t feel like I used to – oppressed and full of dread. If this is what the hard work of being positive will help me achieve, then I will continue to do it. I feel energised and happy and above all free of some of the binds that held me down.