I had a meltdown this weekend just past. I looked at life, at the bleakness of being caught in a debt cycle, and just thought “what’s the use?” I am so ready to give up and say fuck it all.
I am so tired of being told I am poor, which therefore excludes me from having a meaningful and happy life. Fuck it all! And honestly, fuck society for assuming that wealth is the only pathway to happiness.
The definition of “poor” is lacking sufficient money to live at a standard considered comfortable or normal by society. Since when did we make the wealth something to be revered above good health, stable families or just enjoyment at what is around us?
I work hard and full time. I do my best to further my education and ensure that I am learning at all times. This is who I am. I earn enough to cover my debts (as large as what they are) and keep a roof over my head. Admittedly, I have to find creative ways to ensure there is food but all the rest is covered. Yet according to society at large I am poor.
If we are not earning to the maximum and living the life of Reilly then it is assumed that we are not doing our best. That somewhere we are failing and that is not good enough. I see so many, myself included, striving for that ever elusive more. I can’t take much more.
I have forgotten some facts – I live in an apartment where I am safe and out of the elements especially this brutal cold. I have clothes to wear to keep me warm. I have food – it’s not 5-star but it’s tasty and hearty and feeds me. I have electricity and a TV, with access to books and entertainment. I am able to traverse my city and see things and spend time with people. I can’t spend any money but I can be there. I can get medical attention. I have access to warm water and clean attire. I have a job.
So tired of being told I am poor when I am actually very wealthy. It is just not money.
Yes money makes life easier. No denying it – when you want something you can go and get it. Note the operative word there? Want. Not need. Want.
Money makes all those wants seem reachable and at some stage the wants outstrip the need and suddenly there is no money. There is nothing except the bleakness that society decides is our consequence. We should be able to buy all we want all the time. The excuses are used “but I have worked hard for this” or “I deserve this little treat”, and all we are doing is giving ourselves a reason to behave badly. Or be just like the herd.
I am tired of being told I am poor when it is becoming more apparent that it is society that is poor. Society who is unable to see the joy in sharing time and space, society who is unable to see the wealth in having a home with amenities. We are a spoiled, selfish lot.
I am not poor because I earn enough to pay my debts. That is not poor – that is responsibility.