Back to basics

What does it mean to get back to basics?

The free dictionary says this:
return to basic instruction; start the learning process over again.
The dictionary just says this:
stressing simplicity and adherence to fundamental principles
I am not unhappy but I am not happy either.  A friend posted a meme on my FB that said the following:
Make a list of things that make you happy
Make a list of things you do every day
Compare the lists
Adjust accordingly

Basic – the word itself means fundamental, simple, elementary.  Life is so complex at the moment that it proves difficult to revert to the simple.  I am at such a crossroads where I can’t see forward because it looks too simple and therefore is more complex than a Rubik’s cube.

I was lousy (still am) at solving Rubik’s cubes.

I like the definition of the free dictionary – start the learning process over again.  It makes sense in my current mood.  I mean here I am complaining about first world problems.  I have it good – a job, a home, food, clothing, partner(s), residual income (admittedly very little but it is there) and I am studying.  I have nothing to complain about. I am richer than a large portion of the world and some would give anything to have a quarter of what I have.

So why the bloody hell am I so … MEH! (that just seems to sum it up)

So I need to learn again.  Learn what it is to be thankful and grateful.  I don’t need some of the stuff I am fantasising about.  Hell, if I got it I wouldn’t actually know what to do with it.  I get that some of my dissent is due to the fact that my studies are drawing to a close.  I am having those anxiety attacks because I won’t know what to do with myself.

This post is about what makes me happy.  So what makes me happy because that will inevitably decide which way I am going.  I love my craft and reading and I have a room dedicated just to this.  I am in love with my partner and the life we have together.  I am enjoying my home that I have gotten 3/4 of the where I want it.

Life is good and I have no reason to complain.  I am still not sure of what the road ahead is, or if I am going to go left, right or straight ahead.  I know that this week especially holds some difficult decisions for me.

Basic for me is finding my feet after all the excitement and change that has been going on. I need to remember that even though it seems so hard it is in fact okay.  I am rich in all the things that money cannot buy and I have comfort enough.  I am just looking too hard to see what the end result will be instead of enjoying the now.

It’s not a cohesive or enlightening post.  It’s me working through what is essentially a first world thing.  I am beyond blessed and now I just have to take a step. There is no wrong path, just different outcomes.  All part of my journey.

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