Fuck

I was going to make it pc and go phuk but FUCK suits and this is my space.

I am one of the lucky people who has not lost their job in the pandemic. I am able to log in every day and work. Which is an absolute blessing. It is also a blessing that I will be able to work with a greater degree of flexibility going forward. High risk etc. etc. etc.

The FUCK comes from the fact that I am watching all those who are not working achieve all these amazing things. And it leaves me feeling like I am achieving nothing.

I have not finished gifts due 5 months ago. I have started other projects just to leave them in a heap. I have studies which have started and I have not completed the textbook as I should have already. Never mind started work on my journal.

I seem to have a lot of open ends. And this is adding to my depression. I am eating and not exercising – because hey! office is just there at 730am and I will finish around 7pm. No breaks (or very small ones).

I am drained and no idea where or how I will top up