I was called “attractive”, “sexy” and “hot” last night. Took me completely by surprise and the little cynical voice inside me went “he’s just after one thing, it’s not genuine”.
I wonder how many of us have that self same conversation when we are complimented?
I have had a few backhand compliments of late as well. Along the lines of “that coat looks great, it’s amazing that they can make clothing for bigger girls that looks good!”. Those tend to reinforce my opinion that the clothes make the woman!
I was always told beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Basically what I will find attractive, someone else will not. Of course this means that when I look at myself I do not see beauty.
What I see are the grey hairs, hairstyle that is rather unruly, clothes that don’t quite hide the excess, creases on my face, veins starting to show under the skin. I see all the flaws as if each one were highlighted by its own spotlight. There are blemishes on my skin, bags under my eyes and stretch marks I cannot hide.
If I am fair, and let’s be honest we are seldom fair to ourselves, most of those marks and blemishes have a story behind them. I have few marks that are age related (there are a few). The stretch marks and orange peel proves that I have carried children in my body, nurtured them and brought them into this world. I have surgery scars and pock marks from minor accidents. The stories go on.
I don’t see sexy … I see frumpy. I don’t see beautiful … I see average. I don’t see hot … I see tired.
I am still processing the compliments, because no matter what cynical me says, I know it came from a genuine place. I am working really hard on accepting compliments and not use the usual off hand remarks that negate the givers intent. Last night proved that I have far to go in this area.
How do you accept compliments?
Neuroses Undefined 