31 days hath January

It’s a lie! January is at least 100 days long!!

I cannot believe that today is the last day of January. It feels like I have done at least 6 months work of living and work in these short weeks. I am well aware that from here the days and weeks will bleed into one another and before I can blink it’ll be December.

But as this day progresses, and trust me it is jam packed with things to do, I am reflecting on some lyrics I have been hearing of late. When you listen to most songs that deal with love, often the line “and this time I know it’s for real” comes up. Or some variation thereof.

That has made me think, what made the last time not real?

What about your prior romance / love / infatuation was not real? You were in that moment with that person and it was perfect. You enjoyed what you did together and everything was as you wanted it. Just because it did not work out does not make it any less real, or have any less impact.

Why do we want to forget that which has gone before? I know when the memories are bad, we would like to not think on it, but there is a logic to remembering. At one stage that person was all you could think about and definitely the only one who fulfilled your needs. As you grew older and matured, those needs and desires changed and either the person grew with you or you grew apart.

The bad things, they have a place too. We need to remember them so we don’t make the same mistake but also so that we grow as people. It is a way, at least for me, to learn empathy, to understand that others have demons that they fight daily (sometimes hourly) and to step back when things are becoming too negative or harmful to me as a person.

I find I don’t like the term, this time is for real. I am not going to negate my prior experiences because then I haven’t learned anything. Now is perfect for my needs, wants and desires. This too may end, and I will use it as the next lot of stepping stones in my growth.

I wonder if we would be different if we acknowledged all the prior and didn’t try and place everything in the now basket and with the current person? It seems a little unfair to hinge all our happiness on the now, when the past has things to teach us.

Now back to my 100 day January 🙂

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