We are officially 69 days (yeah yeah I get it … but it was completely unintentional … I think 😉 ) into 2021 and I am adding up the moments. It feels like years have passed in those days and in order to slow it down, I am counting moments.
Like Day 65 where we did a trip to Sassafras and visited Miss Marple’s tearoom. I have a serious thing for tea and scones with jam and cream. Or Day 63 where I officially completed 2 weeks of aqua classes. Day 58 is the day I spent time with my youngest and it was the first time in a very long time that we were comfortable with each other. Day 38 was the day I started and finished a book in one sitting. One of the most memorable is Day 34 when people I have only met here, offered support and encouragement for what I face ahead.
It is those reflections, only 1 per day, that helps through all the uncertainty and non answers.
Short update – oncologist says he can’t find anything abnormal which is great news. But it doesn’t answer the question as to why I am continually testing positive. His response yesterday to that precise question was “Well, it’s just your bad luck!”. Very helpful … not. I have another range of bloodwork to be done and back again to discuss results but basically I am going to be tested every year until there is a negative test and then an additional couple of years to make sure. Bleh!
On a really positive note: 2.5 weeks into aqua class and it is amazing. Seriously amazing. I am short of breath and feel my core (I never knew I had one of those!) after each session and am quite convinced that the trainers are drill sergeants in disguise, but I recover quickly and with little pain. I look forward to my 3 times a week class and am slowly considering a few more of the deep water type to up the game. Not for another couple of weeks though! I am feeling positive about this and the desire to do more underscores this.
I am not considering land exercise yet. The thought of that makes me cringe and debate my sanity.
I am hoping we get the vaccine rolling quicker here in Aus. Some delays and setbacks have pushed dates back and I just want it done and dusted now. I want to be able to not have an anxiety attack each time I think about having to get back on public transport, or how close people stand or just my relative safety inside stores. I want to not have to think super carefully about where I go in the gym because I do not want to be too exposed.
So circling back – my moments, 1 per day, are adding up. It shows me that no matter how bad something is, it is just for a moment, not a lifetime. The good moments far outweigh the bad ones. Even simple things like being grateful for a rainy day or a sunny day, or the sunflower you see on the road on the way to an appointment. Collecting those moments allows me to step back and evaluate what I am placing value on and in. It helps realign what I want vs what the world says I should have. Nothing super insightful, but always good to remember.
I’ll leave you with this image. The two pups at their most adorable … the rest of the time they are typical teens!
5 thoughts on “Adding up the moments”
LOL. Sherlock has a lot of wisdom in him.
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He certainly has character!
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If you recover quickly and with little pain, I guarantee they weren’t drill sergeants. 🙂
Trying to keep up with their pace while you are in the water qualifies them as such 😉 It’s good resistance training.
They are really good at yelling “go faster”, “kick higher” etc. and making you feel like you are barely doing a tenth of what is required
Well, aside from the annoyance of those confusing test results, it sounds like you’re in a relatively great state of mind, which is always good news.
Despite my personal (over?) enthusiasm when you announced that you were embarking on an exercise regimen, I still haven’t done squat here at Bonnywood, health-wise. I keep finding a variety of excuses to put things off. (After several years of such putting off, I’ve essentially turned the procrastination into an art form, just not an enviable one.) Tomorrow is a new day.
I fully understand your desire to get the vaccine as soon as possible. I’m not sure if you caught my own post on the matter, but I’ve managed to get the first Pfizer dose and I’m scheduled for the second. That first shot turned into an emotionally-overwhelming moment, with happy tears and whatnot, proving that I was far more anxious about things than I realized. Fingers crossed that you get an appointment soon!