Brian is a blogger I simply love reading – mainly because his humour is dry and twisted and takes me down creative paths that are simply awesome. You can find him here. His latest offering is a writing prompt, and I am going to steal the image and use the prompt for a bit of my own fun 🙂 Enjoy.
Preamble: We will go back in time, well to 2020 at least, and knock on the door of the Murder Cabin
It is 2020, and within what is known as the Murder Cabin, sits this room. The Murder Cabin lies unobtrusively, some may say, within the confines of the local vacation housing enclave. In 2020, for those that remain historically obtuse, was the year of “The Pandemic”. On every social media outlet that would promote it, there was a consensus that being asked to stay at home and indulge in Netflix (or whatever streaming service was currently the right flavour of the month) was stripping everyone of their rights. Comparisons were drawn between wars and couches that left most baffled at best.
The room could be seen through the small opening in what was undoubtedly an attempt at DIY curtains. The occupant had done their best to keep in theme of the 1950s decor (red velvet lining on the edges) whilst attempting the Burlesque Feather Fan Dance – by both revealing and hiding absolutely nothing. Gossamer lace this is definitely not, and even the hardiest would need a decent shot of hard liquor just to keep looking. It begs to be said that the rest of the Murder Cabin is similarly outfitted. 1950s décor clashes with red velvet, shag carpet (pink of course) and carpeted bathrooms and any other fad that caught the occupants eye. The appliances are just not worth the readers time, but it can be debated this whole discourse is way too convoluted.
Just outside the window, as can be glimpsed, or guessed (readers choice really), one can see the tape cordoning off the property. The continuous flash of cameras adds to the illusion that sunlight is streaming outside as everyone wants to catch a glimpse of that empty room. The room where the two chairs sit tantalising within sight. Those chairs require a little discussion themselves. In another attempt at lockdown craft DIY, the Judas chairs were covered in botanical themed velveteen in an attempt to lure unknowing visitors to sit and then the games started – whomever got the visitors to sit still the longest won unmentionables of their choice.
Just who the occupants were – well that still remains a little of a mystery. What can be gleaned from historical (hysterical?) records, the cabin was rented for annual vacations by a man (although there have been many thoughts on this) named Brian and his entourage. Their arrival is heralded by vast amounts of swearing, accusations that are hurled at increasing volumes (who knew that a purse was that important) and the noise of the mixer to churn out those immense quantities of margaritas. Their departure no less noisy.
The incident creating the consistent flash of cameras occurred when Chief Fife, knocked on the door while holding in his hands a seemingly innocuous rectangle of paper. As he got shown into that room, and beheld the Burlesque Feather Fan Dance attempt, his heart plummeted. It really was too late to close the barn door. Andrea had been correct all along and he was merely prolonging his visits to the court appointed therapist.
Chief Fife seated himself in the velveteen covered Judas chair and turned over that innocuous rectangle of paper. There in all its glory was Brian’s mustache – the 1970s inspired swathe of hair on the upper lip that screamed “I’m a pimp and star in many a porno“. Brian’s Partner, a man of few words, simply turned to Brian and asked “Did you HAVE to leave evidence?”
As for being the Murder Cabin, well that is simply due to bad taste in décor and having to fumigate before and after each visit!